Ease into Joy with Misha Vayner

Health and wellbeing coach Misha Vayner joins host Leah McIntosh to chat about easing into joy.

Episode Key Points:
Misha's journey leading to her, it might be me moment. [2:00]
Why having a strong sense of self is important. [22:00]
Understanding seasons and human design. [25:00]
Misha's process to help people with stress. [28:00]
The practice of morning pages. [41:00]


New episodes release on Thursdays!
Follow me on Instagram at @SuperiorThinkerInc and keep up with all things, Leah and the podcast.
Follow Misha on Instagram at @Misha Vayner
Thanks for listening! 

Transcript

Ease into Joy with Micsha Vayner

[00:00:00] Leah McIntosh: Welcome to it might be me podcast. I'm your host, Leah McIntosh who are here to help you understand that on the other side of that pain and trauma is your transformation. There may be some limiting beliefs, negative emotions and private struggles that have led you to having more. It might be. I'm here to help you learn to adapt let that because we are created to be limitless.

My hope is with each episode, you've move free and understood. Willing to accept that. Although some of our past decisions landed us in a place of uncertainty. We are only one decision away from living our best lives. Now let's go.

(Intro)

Well, hello everyone. And welcome to another episode of it might be you. I have a guest with me today.

How are you? How are you [00:01:00] So I'm gonna let you introduce yourself and kind of, share with them with what you do. 

Misha Vayner: Hi everyone. I am Misha Vayner, a holistic health and wellbeing coach, and I support overwhelmed individuals in feeling their best in mind, body and soul, without the stress, ease and joy.

Shall I go on or is that good? I can talk all day, so I need to be cut off sometimes. 

Leah McIntosh: I understand. So we've kind of discussed your story and it's, it's a lot. And so I just would love for you to share your journey from that moment, you know, you're, it might be the moment to how you transformed your life and became the woman that you are today and helping other women with their [00:02:00] wellbeing and just.

You know, everything. So let's hear about your it might be the moment. 

Misha Vayner: Yes. Okay. So about 10 years ago, I launched a, my namesake retail concept store in New York city. And it was something I dreamed about since I was a child. It was a huge, huge undertaking. It wasn't. Like, uh, seeing my dream come true in all its Technicolor glory.

You're my name and lights in New York city in the wall street journal. All of it was like so surreal and just the best feeling ever. It was like my first child, I put everything into it and I had two business partners that had approached me to, to go into business with me. These are two people that I trusted implicitly that I felt really, really close to that I consider dear dear friends.

And the long story short of that piece of it is that they did [00:03:00] something shady and unbeknownst to me, and it resulted in a lawsuit, a $5 million lawsuit on my business. And personally, and during that time I could not. I had a temporary restraining order on the business until the lawsuit was settled, which as someone who always struggled with.

Being able to express themselves and find their voice. And really, I feel as though my voice was very stifled for a long time and I was just coming into myself and now I had this restraining order, which meant that I couldn't tell my landlord. I couldn't tell my customers. I couldn't tell anyone that this was happening, but I also had a $16,000 a month rent to pay.

I had commitment to these people. And so I felt like I. And I'm a very transparent, honest person. So it really made me feel like I was at odds within myself in a really deep way of no, not doing, [00:04:00] not being transparent, not being honest, but I really didn't have a choice. I was dealing with major betrayal from two people that I trusted implicitly.

I, this whole experience all on top of the inner struggle I was dealing with with that also crippled my business. So I was like losing, I was going through major grief of, you know, dealing with the fact that I was losing something. I worked my entire life towards and then dealing with so much toxicity with my partners in these people and being completely, you know, confused and feeling like these were, these were problems.

I couldn't Google. Like why is this happening to me? And how can I get out of this? And all of that drama resulted in. You know, so as, oh, and then also like my grandmother died and there was a bunch of other personal things that were happening that were extremely stressful. And when I finally had to close my business, I also [00:05:00] got my husband proposed to me right after that and or my, my boyfriend at the time.

And I was just like, I cannot do this. I didn't even know who I was. I didn't know what just happened. I had lost all sense of like, You know myself, what my, what my purpose was, what was next for me, my sister had just gone through a divorce, so she was going through some crazy stuff. So I was feeling like a lack of being able to trust people.

I couldn't trust myself. I was petrified from like legal agreements. After what I'd been through, I was majorly in the red. I mean, there was some days I would just eat like a granola bar or like a tune out of a can, like, it was bad. I had my self-worth and my ego was like in the toilet. And so I'm like, I, this is not a place that I can commit to a marriage.

Not only did I. So then I found out I'm pregnant and oh. [00:06:00] And I was like, oh, and I had a breakdown. And I was like, I don't even know how I'm going to take care of this baby. Much less. Nice. And then something happened to me. I had this moment where actually I saw my father and he was like, when I told my parents and I, you know, Indian parents kind of traditional and I was petrified to tell them after like everything they had just heard from me.

And they were like over the moon and something about that moment of the hearing, my parents so excited for this. Actually blessing. I wasn't able to see, because I was just constantly in this negative toxic space. And I was like, wait God, this is a blessing like this is, and, you know, I saw it as divine intervention and, you know, like I said, my grandmother died and I felt like she was coming to me to bring me to a positive place, to bring me to my next, to [00:07:00] have me sort of start to think outside of all my troubles and think of something bigger.

And what's really important. So as I started down that journey of, you know, processing the fact that I was going to be a mother also now having a shotgun wedding, like all of this, I, it was stressful. It was really stressful. I still was grieving the loss. I still was trying to find myself even more. So now that I'm like now being thrust into a whole new life and I really still hadn't lost my passion for.

You know, entrepreneurship, but I also found that I had this deep, I always had this deep passion for supporting women and supporting other people. It's been a thread that's run throughout my whole life. And in my former business that I had everything gave back to a good cause. Like I had, there was a social consciousness effort with all of the things, and that was really important to me.

And as I segwayed into motherhood, [00:08:00] I was really trying to figure out like, How to do something that was really meaningful to me. And I thought I want it to be a midwife. I thought I wanted it to be a doula. I'd always been really passionate about health and wellbeing, but I was just still trying to find myself.

And now that I was having a child, I was like, you don't have time to keep finding yourself, like you're in the red, you need to go back to work. So I went back to work in corporate fashion, but I wasn't. It because my background was in luxury fashion, and that's where I spent my career, but I, it wasn't where my heart was anymore.

And so while I was on that path, after I had gone through all of that, and right after I had the baby and dealt with all this stress, my health broke down. Literally my brain shut down. I couldn't walk. I had nail fungus. I had rectal bleeding. I had chronic anxiety, depression. I couldn't sleep. Literally, I couldn't type, I couldn't remember anything.

My [00:09:00] skin was like, disgusting. My hair was falling out. Like literally I had major digestive problems after everything I ate, I felt really nauseous. I get really bloated. I had no energy and really I had about 65 different quote unquote, unexplainable. Ailments. I was on crutches, even though I had gone to like had x-rays cat scans, bone scans, all the things and everything kept coming back inconclusive.

So now I'm working in corporate fashion at Saks of the avenue. We'll have a newborn I'm crutching around I'm in extreme pain. I literally feel like I can't cut from it can't function. And it felt like every couple of weeks, something else would shut down. So this went on for about a year and a half of me looking.

For the answer, struggling, not only struggling to find the answer, but struggling with feeling good in my skin, [00:10:00] struggling to understand like who I'd become, feeling like disconnected from myself and really wondering who I was now at this point, like, I was like, what has happened to me? I felt like I was spun around a million times.

So. I one point I'll never forget after a year and a half of searching and searching and searching, I was driving and put my foot on the brake because it hurt too badly. And I pulled over somehow and I called my husband and I just like broke down. And I was just like, we need a doctor who can get to the bottom of whatever.

This is literally nothing in my body works like nothing works. That's what it felt like. And I was divinely led to my functional doctor, Dr. Jeffrey Morrison, who is in New York city. And while we, in my experience with him, I learned that while, you know, I had, I had chronic, uh, I had inflammation. I had, you know, chronic [00:11:00] major depletion of all my nutrients and minerals from all of the stress.

I had several that I had. Something called high reverse T3 and became insulin resistant. I had a whole bunch of issues, but the root of all of it was stress. And so within six weeks of me working with him in literally he told me like, you cannot work out. It's adding stress to your body. You can own that.

He prescribed meditation. He prescribed, you know, relaxing in yoga. And we worked on a protocol with herbs and through nutrition to help too. You know what I want you back in six weeks, my brain turned on, I dropped like 20 pounds. My eyes were like bright as like, you know, so bright and fresh. My skin was amazing.

My hair was amazing. I was able to walk. Everything felt good. My brain was sharp and on that six week visit. So I was like, I would say almost what we [00:12:00] thought was like almost healed. And then we found out I was pregnant again. So fast forward over the course of three years I had, oh, so after, sorry, after I had my, after I got pregnant with my second child, I was in that moment.

I was fascinated because I was like, I don't even understand how this transformation happened because as someone who's always been extremely passionate about health and wellbeing, and I was just like, How did I not know these things and how, how can I continue to support myself and my family so that I can continue to get better?

And this doesn't happen again. So while I was pregnant, I got, I enrolled in the Institute of integrative nutrition to learn. At that time. I didn't even think I wanted to be a health coach, but I, I knew that I wanted to learn and take it from there. And so I was in school, on my healing journey and I ended up having three children in three and a half years while I was working while I was in school.

And through war throughout that journey, I kept getting [00:13:00] diagnosed with like one stress related issue after another, they kept saying you have this. And I was like, but I don't understand. I'm doing the yoga. I'm doing the meditation. I'm eating the kale. Why? And they'd be like, This like, literally 1% of the population have this and I'm like, how did you get this?

And they were like from stress and I'd be like, but I'm not stressed, but then they'd show me the test. And it was indicating like, you are stressed and I'm like, okay, guess the tests don't lie. And this was a huge aha moment. It was like the Boulder finally hit my head and it was like, you can do all the things in the world, but if you're actually not stressed from within.

Like literally nothing matters. And it had me, this process was like a real big awakening. Cause it had me peel back the layers more. And what I learned was that the stress I was experiencing was from my disconnect, from my sense of self I, all of the beating up all of the lack of self-worth all of [00:14:00] the, like lack of self-compassion all of the judgment on myself, the picking apart thing.

The doom and gloom, like all of those toxic emotions and how I was beating myself up, or, you know, my failure beating myself for my body. All of this was causing so much turmoil that I was not able to heal or lose weight or, or feel good. Then I went through this journey of like self-discovery self-love and stress reduction, and like incorporating all the modalities from, you know, from breathwork to learning about Buddhist, Buddhism and different mindset shifts to learning about astrology and human design and really going deep into how can I really understand myself, love myself and live in alignment with my authentic truth.

And from that journey of radical self discovery and solve acceptance, [00:15:00] and building confidence came massive healing and this insane passion to want to help other women that are consistently looking externally for validation, for answers, who are getting exhausted and burnt out from decision fatigue, from looking elsewhere to learning that.

At the end of the day, we are the ones who hold the keys and have to like unlocking our greatest potential and feeling our best and living our best lives. It's through there's over a hundred different dietary theories and they're all right, and they're all wrong. And then you can go around playing whackamole all day looking for answers.

When we connect with our inner guide and we learn how to. Understand our own unique systems, how to understand the accused, what form of nourishment that he was actually asking for. And then what the most aligned form [00:16:00] of nourishment is for our unique system. And once we understand it, we it's like, like literally the flood gates open it's like off to the races.

You are like sparkling and shining. It's like that diamond that all of a sudden glimmers and glows, and one analogy I like to, you know, sort of. Share with people to help them really understand is like it's as if for a lot of us are playing or I was playing this game of like, you know, we're constantly, it's like if, if our wellbeing and our life is a game and we're constantly trying to, like, we're not reading the instructions, we're not learning how it's played, but we're constantly just randomly trying things you might win.

You might, you might get some right. You might get a few points, but it will be stressful. And you'll feel like. Unsure the whole time and it won't be an enjoyable process and the success rate will be low. But if you understand how to play the game, if you learn [00:17:00] your own unique operating system and how you, how you work then playing the game becomes ease filled.

It becomes you have confidence doing it. You crush it, you win so much more successfully. And so that's what I want to help. People understand is through, uh, through connection with self. And that is where we reduced the stress all of a sudden, oh my God, our metabolism is in check. Therefore we're waking up with energy.

We're going to sleep naturally when the sun goes down or we can hear that our body's actually asking us for natural whole foods, because when it's in a stress state, We, we don't know what we want because we're either pounding coffee and we're, those are giving us different cues or we're wanting cake or wantingness, but that's not what our most aligned version of us want.

It's the, it's the toxic version of us. So I try to get people back to a really aligned state. So that they can hear their [00:18:00] body's cues, understand them, understand their themselves, and how they can live in alignment and be at ease, which that's how I operate. Now. Your to answer. Your question where I am now is at the end of the day, like life is always going to be throwing us off.

We're going to constantly have new challenges and new opportunities to grow rise. Awaken, heal more. But the truth is, is right now, I feel so inflow, so aligned. And even when I have my moments where I'm tested by, you know, the universe, I have the tools to bring myself back in check. I have the self-compassion to guide myself home with love.

I have the awareness to catch it earlier. And so I'm able to experience better wellbeing, more fulfillment, and more joy in my life. Now. 

Leah McIntosh: Awesome. So yea, I mean, there's just so much to unpack and I guess I want to go back to, [00:19:00] let's just talk about that friendship. You know, I know that that had to, I don't know that friendships to me are so important, you know, and to be able to trust someone that you call a friend is huge.

You know, it's like, I it's blowing my mind that they put you in that position and I can completely understand the stress, you know, that that would come along with like, I, I couldn't imagine being under that much scrutiny, that much stress. And so it's not surprising that it manifested itself in your body the way that it did.

And then on top of that, getting pregnant, that's a whole nother. Level of stress in your body going through change it's of the, like you were just hit with a one, two punch. Yeah, just back to back, you didn't even have a chance to [00:20:00] process everything that happened before you got pregnant. And then with that, you know, moving into motherhood, being a first-time mom.

Yeah. It's, it's just a lot. So like my mind is still kind of reeling just from trying to process and trying to empathize with where you were at at that point. And I can understand. That you know, when you have a dream and you work towards that dream and you actually bring that dream into fruition and then for it to get snatched the way that it did, I can completely understand the fact that you didn't have a sense of self anymore because your identity or who you thought you were, was rudely in no snatch from under you.

So, I guess the question that I have now is now when you develop friendships [00:21:00] with people, do you kind of have like a filtering or do you struggle with trust? Do you have that trust? Yea.

Misha Vayner: Yeah, so a couple of things. So yeah, I was radically broken at that time. And what a few things, key points to, you know, answer your questions.

So I feel so the trust piece, that the biggest issue that I've had for that I feel like got me in that place in the beginning was because I didn't have self-trust and because I have strong confidence and strong self-trust. People knew they could take advantage of me. And that was a big part of, a lot of the dynamic of what went, even though these were to your point, like they were my closest friends and it was, it crushed me, but I realized in hindsight that.

You know, unintentionally, I was giving out the, I [00:22:00] was allowing people that to, it was giving them the opportunity to take advantage of me because they knew, because I didn't have strong sense of self and I didn't have strong boundaries. And so I was constantly giving, giving, giving. And, you know, when you, you know, when, when there's somebody who will just let you walk all over them, like that's what I was doing.

And in a, in a way. And so. I learned in my journey that, you know, when you have a strong sense of self and when you are confident a and in a positive high, when you don't even attract people like that. And if you do, like, they're just, you're just repelling them because they don't even, they're not even going to come in your space that way.

Like they know you're not, you know, or you have a strong enough sense of self where you can like own your, you, you stand up for yourself. You know what I mean? So, When I tried, it was like too little too late. I learned the hard way. And so it was honestly, I'm so grateful for the experience, even though it took so much [00:23:00] healing because.

It was, I believe that self, I know that self-trust is the most important thing you need to have. And it was an expensive and really hard lesson the way I learned it. But now it's unshakeable. I have like, so to answer your question now, it's like, I really strong boundaries, which I, and I'm very. Listen, we all have, it's a it's I think it's a journey and a constant refinement process.

And it's funny because I actually just posted about this on my Instagram yesterday that I was, did a friendship inventory by default and had been like cleaning out ones that weren't serving me and bringing a new ones, but it's a constant process because as we grow and evolve, the next person that you're friends with is also going through their own healing journey.

And it's inevitable at some point. For there potentially to not, you know, for you to be at a different rate than that person. And if we're not, if not to align and you know, I, I am a very [00:24:00] compassionate, loving giving person. And because I know that like when I'm in a friendship, it's like I'm fully me. I'm completely open.

I'm not a guarded person. And so it only feels safe for me to be in friendships where I feel fully competent that. I can be myself and not be taken advantage of all. It's not something being thrown in my face, not really being judged. And so when I sense that there is when I'm being not appreciated or when I send something, I am very clear about what I stand for and what, what I'm willing to, you know, I always lead with love and compassion.

But at the end of the day, boundaries are love and you have to love yourself first. So, you know, if I'm not in a friendship, it doesn't mean that that person is toxic or I don't like that person, or that don't wish that person well and full, fully and completely, but that doesn't mean that that person [00:25:00] needs to be in my life right now.

If it's causing me toxicity, that's not feeling supportive to me. So I'm really, I really continuously, I have a friendship. I had a friendship for 20 years that. Right now we're in a season where it doesn't feel aligned. I think that she is going through some things and it seems to be impacting me. And I've tried to, you know, be really, I feel like I've been extremely forgiving and understanding, but it's gotten to a point where I realized, you know what, maybe this just needs to be on the back burner right now.

I think there are seasons. That you're in and then seasons that you may not be, or maybe it just take a little bit of space, but not only that, but I also am extremely, so I don't know how familiar your audience or you are with human design, but human design is like a fusion of astrology. The Kabbalahs.

The chakras and another Chinese system. And it's, if, if astrology explains [00:26:00] who you are, human design explains it even further. And I am something that's done projector. And what that means is we're a non-energy type and we. We really are highly empathic. And when we're around people, we absorb their energy really deeply.

And so one that means that I need to be extremely careful about the people I surround myself with, but also because I, you know, I burn out when I'm with people a lot. I have three small children. And I work and we don't have help. So I am, I have there much less time for people for friendships right now.

So I'm just highly selective with where I put my energy and my time. And there's a lot of people I like that. I just don't have the time to hang out with because I don't hang out with that many people that often anymore. So I feel like it's a little bit of boundaries and just how, you know, When I was younger, I had a million friends and now I'm more quality versus quantity.

And [00:27:00] really just me honoring both my boundaries and my energy. 

Leah McIntosh: Yes. And I, I completely agree with that. I am someone who I get recharged by being alone. And I feel like when I'm around a lot of the different energies, like just this week, Being in a class full of people who are great, we're all on the same journey, but it's really draining for me at the end of the day.

And, you know, I just need that quiet time so I can get back in alignment with me. And it's just a process I've realized and recognize that about myself now, before I didn't. And so I couldn't figure out, like you said, just, I was stressed to the max and, and never. Realize that you need to be alone to recharge.

And then to your point [00:28:00] about the nutrition, I never would have even thought about that. That, you know, just sitting here, listening to your story, I'm like, okay, that explains a lot. I'm clearly with the nutrition. I'm not in, I'm not in alignment. I try to get it alignment, but I just don't have that knowledge to do that.

And so I feel like, you know, that leaves me wanting to learn more about what you know, what to do for sure. So when someone comes to you presenting symptoms of stress, and I know that can look different in different people, what's your process to kind of figure out what or how to help them. I guess that's the best way.

Misha Vayner: So I first start with a very thorough intake form, which excuse me, it's fine. [00:29:00] A very thorough intake. Gets clarity on, you know, so many aspects from, you know, what they are eating, what, how much they're sleeping, what their sleep looks like, what their stressors look like, how many hours they're working, if they had kids, what their medical history is, how in alignment they are with their purpose, how happy they are.

Like it's a very thorough intake form from that. And in that, sorry. And in that it's one of many intake forms, but that's the first one I start with before they, before we work together. And in that space, when they're answering it, they only know what they know. Right. So they, they obviously they're answering with the awareness that they're in that, in that moment.

But when I'm reading it, I see that there's, I'm able to see immediately where there are, where are the areas that, that you need to really like go in and get clarity on. And also. Get clarity of which of those areas are the most out of alignment that we need to bring them back in. [00:30:00] So what we do is on the first session, we really, we start to do two things at the same time.

One is addressing some of the areas that are completely out of alignment and to help. Then giving them suggestions at that are working with them to understand based on their own unique body, what behavior lifestyle mindset changes need to be integrated that works with their unique body and lifestyle to help bring those areas back into alignment.

While we're doing that, we're also working, going deeper into some of the bigger issues. So for example, if someone is telling me they're stressed and. Or their, their stress levels at a certain point and there, but they don't really know why in the work I have. It's kind of a blend of health and life coaching.

And I start to go deeper with them to get to the root of like, what is triggering the stress. And often it might, it oftentimes it's related to [00:31:00] it's nine times out of 10 related to their connection with self, but it's, you know, could be related to. Traumas from their childhood. It could be related to an incident that happened.

It could be related to the, you know, their, you know, aspects of their insecurities, you know, all sorts of different things. And so we kind of go deep. There's like a kind of a two track process of one is working on the, the, like, like more. Tangible aspects like, okay, I need to Institute like, um, a bedtime routine and like no screens and a ritual too, for you.

And there's lots of help you get your sleep back on track and add in these supplements and remove these foods and added these foods. But those are tactical. But then at the same time, we're really doing some deep rooted healing with self to help unpack what it is that is getting in the way from them standing in their truth.

From them being standing in their [00:32:00] worth, standing in their power and stepping into their sparkle and their glows. So like when we really understand what it is, that's what lies were told to us in our childhood, what that teacher said to us at that one time time that made us think that we're not worthy.

What, when we were rejected, when we were. Whatever happens when we get back to those places and do the healing and really continuing to unpack, it helps to do the excavation. And also the other piece of it is really understanding more about yourself. So when you understand, like for example, a human design, when I learned, okay, That I have this unique design that requires me in between people because I'm absorbing their energy.

That takes space to your point, to be with self, to recharge, to release that energy, to understand that like when I'm with other people, I'm absorbing their energy. So if they, if somebody calls me up and says like, do you want to come to this party? I mean, this is not happening now, [00:33:00] but say 10 years ago, you want to come to the party.

Blah, blah blah. And I on the phone and then I get there and I'm in their energy, but I'm like, wait, then the next day I'm so tired. I'm like, I didn't really want to go. I was just feeling their vibes. And I realized that when people ask me things, I have to be in my own energy, but I'll get back to you. And I sit with myself, like get clarity from myself when I'm not absorbing their energy.

The point is, is from understanding how my unique design is and what that does and what. I need to implement, to support me. I'm able to then get myself back into alignment and live with more confidence and ease because I know that like, you know, I don't feel comfortable in this situation because my design, this is the situation that I do.

This is I need to implement this energetic boundary when I'm in this situation. If I were going to it's may help me feel done. That therefore it will reduce the stress that therefore helps me feel better about myself and all of these aspects of [00:34:00] self-mastery and self discovery increase your competence and your worthiness because you're, you have a better handle on you.

So you're able to show up with more ease and grace and competence and self compassion, because you're like, oh, I get why I'm being like that. This is not for me. This is not how I'm supposed to roll. So. I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm just going to take myself out of it. I know that that's not, for me.

It's not because there's something wrong with me. It's because that's just not my design. You know what I mean? And I think like, and the same with like astrology and other things, like just helping you get clear on we're all so different. And I think like marketing and society has us. You know, constantly feel like we're supposed to be like the person here though.

That's selling to us like, like everyone else and listening to everyone else. And that they, you know, to look for these answers outside of ourselves and put ourselves in these boxes and these categories, but we're also different. And [00:35:00] when you will surrender and release the needs to constantly be like the next person, or put yourself in a box and just honor who you are.

In your own authentic truth and alignment, then you it's like you'll feel so amazing. So that's kind of the process that I went off on a tangent, but you know, basically that the process is really helping them to the two track process of looking at what's pedal alignment, bring it back and helping them through self discovery and self healing and self mastery.

Leah McIntosh: Yeah. So it sounds like you like really helped them to tap into their own internal resources. And in turn that helps them to start that healing journey, which is so important. And so many people, I, for me, with my I'm realizing that I've had several, it might be me moment. And I think it's okay to do that.

You know, as you, like you [00:36:00] said earlier, your, your life, as long as you're breathing, as long as you have. Life and your body, you're on a journey and you never know what my faith are watching. And so it's okay to have moments when you're you check in or have to check in with yourself and realize, oh, like me finding out I'm more introverted in that I've recharged by being alone.

That was my aha moment. That's why I didn't have energy to do things or cause I was like, you. One of the, be out in the nature that want to miss anything. And then when I was in those places, I'll be bored or just, I want to go home and go to bed and just not, yeah, just not realizing it, not, not having an internal, I guess, relationship with yourself.

A lot of people are missing that in this day and age, and we don't realize it because like you said, we have media [00:37:00] marketing, all these things. And all the things being pushed at us constantly. You never get a real minute to check in, unless you start down some type of passive hailing or you have something detrimental happened and you know, your body revolts against you.

Cause I had, I had that. Not as severe as you, but with. I know I was out of alignment because of lady part issues. And so it was a lot, you know, and I was an infertility and all those things that I'm still working through. And I know a lot of it has to do with just not being in alignment with self. And so with that, like when you go through your process and you.

Get them on the track that they need to get on. Do [00:38:00] you find that anybody, anyone that you work with has resistance towards doing that inner work? 

Misha Vayner: No. It's funny for the most part, no, because I think they know that like, that that's part of it that said I'm working with someone right now who has very, she wants, she wants to, and this is she's, she's definitely been.

You know, doing it. I only just started with her last this past this week, actually. So it was the first session, but she expressed to me that she feels very triggered by the questions and in her case it's because she, for so long growing up was, you know, lived, grew up in a household where she was told how to feel and what to do and how to live.

And, you know, a very traditional type of family where. You know, she had to follow a certain person's path and take a certain type of career. And now [00:39:00] after finally, after being in motherhood and coming out of like, you know, needing to be under her, parents' like spell and. Just kind of realizing that, like, she doesn't really even know who she is and what she wants from herself.

And some questions feel very triggering for her because she's like, I don't know these answers and they're making me, it's making me really upset and frustrated and, and making me not want to do cause it's like do the work because it's just so, so far from where I am. So we're working to like kind of. Go less broad and, and really just go deeper into, you know, into different, uh, different, taking a different route with it.

But up until her, I haven't had that, but I do. But at the same time with each person, it is highly unique. And the approach that I take, there's not one that is the same, because everyone is just so different and has [00:40:00] different triggers. You know, like I have another one who's highly sensitive as well, and I'm just.

I take a different, you know, I, if it's too, you know, yes, it is going to be a deep process, but you know, if you're, if it's too traumatic, my entire approach is it doesn't feel good. We shouldn't be doing it. So I don't want, I don't want it to feel traumatic. I want it to feel good while we're on the journey.

So I tried to do it in a way that we're able to do the healing while also feeling really good about it.

Leah McIntosh: And that makes sense, because it can be, I hate to use the word traumatic, like you said, I don't, I don't like that word. I feel like when you're on this journey, you are going to go the, and confront things that you may have struggled with, or that maybe you just didn't realize about yourself. And so it can be [00:41:00] difficult to sit with that.

And I know that because I I've had to do the mirror work and I've done the ugly crying and I've done, you know, I've done it all. So I know, and I'm still doing things is, you know, things come up for me still as I shift and I change and I evolve. That I have to address and, you know, go, go deep with, so what piece of advice since you've, you know, went through your journey, would you give someone who might just be starting off?

Like what. To kind of help them along and make that journey a little bit less bumpy. Yeah, 

Misha Vayner: I am. So I cannot stress enough the practice of morning pages. And I'll tell you why. And I'll tell you what it is. Morning is, is a practice [00:42:00] where you it's ideally first thing in the morning. Cause it's better. If you can tap into your subconscious, when it's in, it's like.

In that you can more easily tap into your subconscious when you do it, right. When you wake up that said at any time is fine. Do not restrict yourself to that. But the process is free writing. Even if you, without judgment for like five or seven minutes, five to seven minutes, say you can go longer, but at minimum, and the reason it's so powerful is because is for many reasons, number one, So you're going to write without judging.

You're just, even if you're like, I don't have anything to say, you're going to let your pen say I don't have anything that you to keep your pen moving. What happens is you have, first of all, when you're in this process, it quiets your ego mind. So you are. If you're, you know, we have to, in real life, you would say to someone I'm such an idiot when you're writing your, your ego minds.

Like, no, you're not like, so through that process, you're able to see things more [00:43:00] objectively and build more. Self-confidence the second thing is you're able to access your inner wisdom, your inner truth, your intuition through this process in a way that's like, you know, when you're talking to a friend.

And you have a problem and you're talking and talking and asking for advice and all of a sudden I'm like, oh, I just figured it out. It's because you have the space to, to process it. And typically in this modern society, if you're a busy mom, if you're whatever lifestyle you have. Typically right now, we don't have the space.

We don't take the space to drop in and connect to our hearts, to our intuition. And we have this space and all of a sudden through the writing process, our subconscious is kicked in and we're able to tap into those deeper parts of ourselves. So we gain access to information about our deepest truths, our desires, these aha moments that help us get clarity on our lives.

And. You get clarity on your life. You get clarity on things that you've been struggling with you and it removes all these blockages. [00:44:00] You also, you're also building competence. You're doing that. Then at the same time, it's this process also helps increase motivation. Like it gives you more energy. It gives you more direction because you're able to like, once you, you kind of get fired up in the process because you're just like, Getting all these ideas and downloads and insights that you didn't know were living within you.

So you free up the space, which gives you energy and motivation and you get so much clarity. So it's a really amazing process because if you're struggling with, you know, if you're feeling lost in your skin, if you don't know what steps to take, if you're feeling stressed, because it's major for stress reduction, it's also major for building competence.

It's major for connection to self, all of it. It's, this is the key and the way I like to describe, so you can understand better is if you're like, if you're talking to a toddler and you meet a toddler for the first time, and they're really meek and they're not talking and you're trying to get them to, you know, you're trying to [00:45:00] talk to them and they're just like, not really talking.

And then you keep showing the toddler love and playing games with them and hanging out with them and giving them cookies. And then all of a sudden, the toddlers, like. Talking, talking more to you and showing you all these things and won't shut up and they're like, oh, who do? So that's the same with our intuition more, we continue to engage with it and connect with it.

The voice gets louder. Your self-worth gets more, your understanding of yourself gets more, your connection gets deeper. And so you ha you continue to build up this competence as self-trust you release the stress, you build clearer perspective, and that is paramount. For your health and wellbeing. And it's a simple practice that just takes a journal and a pen 

Leah McIntosh: See I never heard of you got it.

Morning pages. I always do my, 

Misha Vayner: oh, go ahead. No, I was just going to say there's a book. It was invented by this woman, Julia Cam'ron and she wrote the book called the artist's way and I highly [00:46:00] recommend it to anyone who wants to explore this deeper. I live, we learned this in nutrition, health coaching school.

And it completely transformed me. It's an, I it's like my drug, my daily drug. I can't live without it. 

Leah McIntosh: Yeah. And it sounds like I do a daily journal, you know, gratitude journal and enlist, but never thought to just do like a free write, just write whatever comes because I usually have to tap into, okay, what am I grateful?

I mean, I can come up with plenty of things to be grateful for, but. This is, sounds like another way to really get in touch, you know, and do that check in with yourself. So I'm gonna have to try it and see how that works. 

Misha Vayner: Yes, please do. Let me know how it goes. 

Leah McIntosh: I will. So this conversation has been quite enlightening and it's gave me like a lot to think about, especially when it comes to, [00:47:00] you know, the nutrition part that.

We are not, you know, we're not taught, like you said, you're marketed all these things and it's not individualized and everybody runs on different things. And so just that part alone is. Was really valuable for me. And I hope it is for my listeners as well, that, you know, if you're trying to figure out why you're not in alignment, it could be because of the things that you're putting in your body and the things that you may not be addressing inside.

And then once those two things come together, you're just. A more harmonious person and being, so I want to thank you for coming on and sharing your, your story, which was a lot and just your insights. They were really eye-opening and enlightening for me. And so with that, for [00:48:00] anybody that wants to get in touch with you or follow you or whatever, you know, feel free to share how they can find you on social.

Misha Vayner: I met Misha Vayner. That's M I S H a V as in Victor, a Y N E R on Instagram, on Facebook and on Twitter. I'll actually on LinkedIn. I'm not, but I know all the places the website is Meesha vayner.com. So we should be everywhere. And I do one-on-one coaching on my also even have something called sort of a longer container for the one-on-one three or six months.

And then I also have. Something that's called a reboot, which is like a 60 minute session. If you're dealing with something more acute and you really need support and guidance out of that, I have a 60 minute reboot where we can get you in a good place. I've had people do it before stressful meetings, or if they're going through a divorce or something like that.

And then I also do monthly moon circles women's circles that are really such magical [00:49:00] experiences and opportunity to really. Be guided through self-reflect deep self-reflection prompts connection, and really connect to the cosmic energy with other women. I always have a different healer there that I just give a different practice and opportunity to really release and grounding and connect.

So you can step into the next cycle, more fulfilled and happy. 

Leah McIntosh: Awesome. Okay. Well, once again, thank you for coming along to “It Might Be You” and blessing out listeners with your Information. Yes. Thank 

Misha Vayner: you. It was such a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so grateful for you having me and for doing this incredible podcast that I know so many people are going to benefit from.

Leah McIntosh: (outro)

Thanks for listening to another episode of it might be you. I release new episodes on Thursdays and make sure to follow me on Instagram at @SuperiorThinkerInc so that you can keep up with all things, Leah and the podcast. Thanks for listening.