Imperfect Perfectionism with Chanee Momoko

Mindset and success coach, Chanee Momoko joins host Leah McIntosh to discuss how perfectionism is holding you back. Humans are not perfect.

Episode Key Points:
- Chanee's background in bodybuilding. [04:00]
- In order for relationships to heal you have to heal yourself. [11:00]
- Humans are imperfect. [18:00]
- Have boundaries and respect yourself to know that not everyone needs access to you. [21:00]
- Acknowledge that you have an inner child. [24:00]
- State your intention and who you want to be.
- Strive for B+ work. [29:00]
- Give yourself permission to heal. [39:00]

New episodes release on Thursdays!
Follow me on Instagram at @SuperiorThinkerInc and keep up with all things, Leah and the podcast.
Follow Chanee on Instagram at @Chaneemomoko 
Thanks for listening! 

Transcript

[00:00:00] Leah McIntosh: Welcome to it might be me podcast. I'm your host, Leah McIntosh who are here to help you understand that on the other side of that pain and trauma is your transformation. There may be some limiting beliefs, negative emotions and private struggles that have led you to having more. It might be. I'm here to help you learn to adapt let that because we are created to be limitless.

My hope is with each episode, you've move free and understood. Willing to accept that. Although some of our past decisions landed us in a place of uncertainty. We are only one decision away from living our best lives. Now let's go.

(Intro)

Okay. So I have, uh,  uh, we, we're going to discuss. Or giving [00:01:00] yourself more engaging in perfectionism and how it kind of holds you back.

So do you want to share a little bit about yourself, Sinead and 

Chanee Momoko: snips? Yeah. First off, I just wanted to say thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. And for everyone tuning in, it's an honor to be in your ear. My name is Chanee. Like Leah said, I'm a mindset and success coach, actually my to that Ms.

Spiritual mindset and success coach, and I specialize in helping female entrepreneurs and coaches heal their limiting beliefs, namely the worthiness wound and overcome those limiting mindset blocks so that they can reach their highest potential in life and business. So that's what I do, but who I am is.

I'm an animal lover. I rescue cats. I'm a book nerd, I'm wife. I'm a firm. Mom will say I'm a myriad of different things, but I just love helping others. [00:02:00] And I've gone through a lot in my life to kind of like get to where I am. And my, my real passion is. Kind of overcoming the things myself and then being able to reflect those learnings back to my clients and the community, my family, and just kinda like help people in that way.

Leah McIntosh: Awesome. And I just want to say, when I first met you, I had just loved the energy and even we were away across the room. And when you got up to introduce yourself, I was like, Oh, she could totally be my coach. So yeah, you, you definitely, from what I experienced, you walk your talk. So I definitely love that about you.

Chanee Momoko: Thank you. That means a lot. That means a lot because integrity is one of my values. Yeah. 

Leah McIntosh: Yes. And it, it definitely comes across. So, you know, let's just jump right into this because [00:03:00] we had opportunities to talk this a little bit. About your past. And, you know, one thing that you did not share was that you used to be a professional bodybuilder.

And with that, I know just from, you know, I grew up with a lady named Betty who was about to daughter and it was intense. She was really intense about. Food and what she looked like, what she wore. So can you like tell us a little bit about that? 

Chanee Momoko: Yeah, one that's cool. I didn't know. You live with the bodybuilder, so you get it.

So, yeah, I actually started off as a professional competitor, so I did my first show. Well, I start off as an amateur. I did my first show in 2013 and that was actually my senior year of college. And [00:04:00] I stumbled onto bodybuilding through a friend. I. Had never, I've always been petite. Like I'm a small person.

And when I went to college, I had gained a lot of weight just from bad lifestyle, lots of drinking, lots of drinking. And so when my friends showed me bodybuilders, I was like, oh my God. I was like, that is amazing. The other thing that really struck me was their beauty. I grew up getting made fun of, for how I looked all the time.

So I'm half Japanese, half Mexican. I, my dad was in the military. We moved seven times by the time I was in seventh grade and I just always got made fun of for how I looked. I was, I was bullied a lot. And so I just wanted to be beautiful. So I see these women on stage and they have these like perfect bikini's and like perfect hair and makeup.

And I was like, I'm going to do that. I'm going to do it. And it was around the time that my ex had planted a story in my head that I was fat. That I [00:05:00] didn't look good. And so it was sort of a double-edged sword of, I wanted to prove him wrong. And I also wanted to prove to myself that I could do something.

And so then came the journey of competing for my first show senior in college, I am working three jobs to make ends meet it's expensive. And I decided to just go all in and. I developed an eating disorder because of that. I developed body image. Just more fear because of it. My coach was really great in the sense that like, he knew how to, how to diet someone down so they could turn pro and he knew the industry.

And so can you just exactly how you should pose and things like that, but he didn't value me as a person. And so coming from a sort of this, I don't want to say traumatic, but yeah, this traumatic background of. I'm incredibly disciplined. I listened to. I'm great. I'm a great student. I'll, you know, I'll do anything you tell me [00:06:00] to.

So I started with myself, I started myself for the show and I won and I got my pro card. So then creates that just, you know, mind game of, in order to be worthy in order to be loved in order to feel like I really matter. I have to be doing these big things and gain achievement from them. And, and the lifestyle behind bodybuilding is, is perfection.

It's about excellence. It's taking your food scale to the restaurant and weighing out your rice. It's weighing out your broccoli. It's being perfect. Absolutely perfect. And my coach was one who just kind of gave me like a, like a meal plan. So it wasn't tailored to my body. And I started with myself and.

Yeah, that's what created this whole sort of like, just mind game in me that in order to be worthy, I had to be perfect. And in order to be perfect, I had to be working towards these really unattainable [00:07:00] levels of perfection within my body and like excellence. So even though it was a really, yeah, traumatic in the sense that I gained an eating disorder and really big body image dysmorphia, the motivation that came from it and like the sense of accomplishment.

And like the personal development journey I went on was, was pretty addicting. And so I continued to compete there after, but that's, that's like where it started. 

Leah McIntosh: So I guess the next question I have, knowing that it caused the dysmorphia and the eating disorder, does that still affect you today? 

Chanee Momoko: No, cause I've done a lot of healing.

Okay, good at this for a long time. So then what happened though was 2013, I kind of took a year off and then 2015, I made a commitment to myself. I said, you know what, I'm going to compete again because I want to compete as a pro. This has been my dream. I really want to do this, but I'm [00:08:00] only going to do it in the healthiest way possible.

And so I made that commitment to myself and I actually coached myself for my first three pro shows and learned all the ins and outs of nutrition, of training of peak week of macros. But again, because of my inner child wounds, which I haven't brought up, but because I'm just like the experiences that I had growing up, a lot of my inner child wounds, I was so obsessed with like perfection and excellence.

So what started back off again as like a healthy hobby and endeavor quickly spiraled into. Like bad again, it was just bad. So I should have taken a break after the second show should have taken a break after the third show, but instead I kept pushing myself. I kept going, going, going, going. I kept trying to achieve more levels of perfection.

And then it was after my fifth show that I really had to look myself in the mirror and say, if you don't take a break, [00:09:00] then you are, you are gonna, you're going to ruin your body. And then if it isn't about my body anymore is my, my mental house. Like, if you don't take this break, like you are going to break down because it was to the point where I was extremely reactive.

I was, I wasn't a good wife. Let me just put it plainly it wasn't a good friend. All of my energy was going towards the show and competing and my food and my body. And so. I went back to it, like, you know, wanting it to be healthy, but because of just like the stuff that I grew up with and the beliefs that I had about myself, it just quickly spiraled out of control again.

Leah McIntosh: And I guess that's another thing it's like, I know that when you're competing at that level, just from, you know, the personal experience of having two people that I know that were bodybuilders their marriage, it took such a heavy toll. That you know, they ended up divorcing ultimately, but how did [00:10:00] that like affect?

You said, you know, you knew you wasn't a good wife and you knew you weren't being a good friend. So what was the journey that you went on to heal those relationships? 

Chanee Momoko: That's a great question. So my husband has always been extremely supportive of my bodybuilding career and he was the one that actually inspired me to get back into it.

And we met at the gym and it's, that's a whole long story, but he's amazing. And he loves the lifestyle. So it didn't put a strain on our relationship lifestyle wise, because we worked out together. We ate the same food. We drank, you know, everything was the same. And so that was never really put on a strain.

I think what the strain was, it was more so intimacy wise, to be honest with you because my hormones were shot. And so, you know, when you get to a point where your hormones are shot, like there is no intimacy. So while we [00:11:00] had like a surface level, amazing relationship in terms of like, we're a team and you know, we've got our dogs and our cats and we do everything together, I felt like something was missing.

And so. It actually came to like, kind of like a, I don't know what you call it, but like, you know, these two points of my life were clashing and. In order to heal my relationship with him, I had to heal my relationship with myself. It really wasn't about him. And I, it was really about how I viewed myself because after the last show I gained 20 pounds.

And so I felt. Very unattractive. And I felt like I was unworthy and I felt like I was unloved and I was projecting my insecurities onto him. And he's like, solid. He was like, Shanae, we're fine. Like, what are you so acting so crazy about? And I was the one that was like, something's wrong with my hormones?

Something's wrong with my body. Like, I need to go and get tested. And he looked at me and [00:12:00] he was like, It's not that it's this. And he pointed to his head, I was like, it's your mindset? He was like, it's your mindset. It's not your hormones. Like stop blaming all this stuff. My husband's amazing. He's the best mirror for me.

So then I was like, Oh, I was like, yeah, you're right. And so. It was more so healing my relationship with myself. And that's when I went down this a new healing journey of self-love unconditional self-love of self-worth realizing that I had placed so much of my worth in validation externally. So my external achievements, how I looked and how people viewed me, I used to be like a people pleaser, and I really wanted people to accept me until like me.

And that's one of my core wounds is always going back to. Are they gonna like me? Are they gonna accept me? And so I did a ton of healing work therapy, lots of body work. It was actually my, my massage therapist, who I was like unloading all of this [00:13:00] onto her. And she was like, are you judging yourself? Or are you meeting yourself with compassion?

And that was the first time anyone had ever asked me about compassion. I, I wasn't taught compassion. My mom didn't teach me compassion. My dad did not teach me compassion. My culture does not teach me compassion. And then I, she, and I really want to have a baby at that time too. And she was like, before you have a baby, you need to take care of little Shinay that's in there.

And that's what sparked inner child healing for me. And so I went down to her journey of inner child healing of. Worthiness and perfectionism, and then also self doubt. Cause a lot of doubt had piled up on top of me and I was using competing as the band-aid for this voice. 

Leah McIntosh: Yeah. And see, let's talk about that validation because [00:14:00] we had a brief moment where you were telling me about your stepmother and.

W let's, let's just get into the deep stuff here. Yeah. And it just struck me and I still, I mean, that was weeks ago when you told me that and it just, it hurt my heart. When you telling me that she expected for you to be perfect all the time and for you to know what she wanted without even expressing that to you.

And so I can see where. That need to feel validated all the time would come from or people please, because, you know, as girls, our mothers are our role models or, you know, they're supposed to be so, you know, tell me a little bit more about, about that because you touched on the inner child thing. And I think a lot of [00:15:00] people don't realize that the root cause of a lot of their issues.

Happened when they were a child. 

Chanee Momoko: Yeah. I'm really impressed that you remembered exactly what I said. Yeah. So, yeah. Thank you for acknowledging that. So that came from really realizing, cause I ha I had to like really look at myself in the mirror and be like, Where did this come from? Like, why am I so, like, why am I such a people pleaser?

Why am I so concerned about what others think of me and their perception of me, you know, to the point where I'd be at the gym. And I would notice that someone wanted the machine I was using. And I would like be like, oh, here, come take the machine and use it. And my husband's like, wait, what are you doing?

Or like, I would tell him, no, don't use that bench. That person is using it. And he was like, I'm working out. Why are you so like, you know, sensitive to everything around you. And I was like, [00:16:00] God, why am I like that? And so I was actually watching a Tony Robbins, the Netflix show, and he asked a question. He said, gut reaction, growing up, whose love did you crave the most, your mom or your dad?

And usually I would say my dad, and at first I said my dad, but then I realized, Oh, it's my step-mom. And then the second question is who did you have to become in order to receive that love? And I was like, I had to become perfect. I had to just exactly, like you said, exactly what I told you. I had to anticipate her needs before she would tell me.

And she actually told me that she was like, I want you to do it without me telling you to do it specifically for like, cleaning. Like, I want you to clean this before I tell you to clean it. And yeah, I had to be perfect. I had to, you know, speak when spoken to, or be quiet after that. I had to get. Good [00:17:00] grades.

I speak fluent Japanese, you know, I would come home I'm in first grade kindergarten, I'd come home from school and she would have me do Japanese school when I got home the summers before, like, you know, third grade start. So the summer before third grade, she'd buy me a homeschooling book and I would do the third grade homeschooling book during the summer.

So that going into the school year, I already knew everything. So, you know, and whenever I talk about this stuff or speak about inner child healing to my clients, it's, it's not that your parents are bad people. So like, you know, I have no hatred towards her. I have no anger towards her. Like it's not that she's a bad person.

It's that? That's how she grew up. Those are generational traumas, generational wounds that have been handed down generation after generation after generation. Some other wind is probably the same expectations for mom had on her. And so, you know, we're born perfect. And then we're handed to [00:18:00] parents and people and people are imperfect, right?

Humans are imperfect. And so these experiences that I had really made me think that I needed to be different. And so. Just through my upbringing with her, I thought I had to be perfect whenever she would show me love or appreciation or be like good job was when I, people pleased was perfect and anticipated her needs before she would tell me, so what I made that connection, I was like, oh, that's why in my adult life, I do this because this is what I think and gains love.

Leah McIntosh: Yeah, cause that's like so much responsibility to put on a child. And just like you said, parents are imperfect. I can't say that I had that. No, I can't say I had that people pleasing, but it was more, I wanted to please, my dad, I wanted [00:19:00] to make sure that I was living the life that he. You know, envisioned for me.

And then I had a wake up call when I was 25. And I'm like, if I keep doing it his way, I'm never going to evolve into the person that I want to be. And you know, it, I had to go through that journey of self forgiveness and, you know, to be perfectly honest, I still have work to do. I think I probably always would have work to do, but yeah.

Like you, I don't hold any ill will because I know how he grew up and my mom. And so it is it's, it's so much responsibility. And now going forward, you know, how has that affected your relationship with your step-mom? Like, have you had a conversation with her about it? 

Chanee Momoko: I have. So I was kicked out at 18. [00:20:00] I was in high school, just turned 18 and my parents kicked me out.

So, you know, it's been, and I was 10, 12, dusk, 12 years ago. I just turned 30. Okay. Love it. It feels so good. But because of that, like, you know, there's been, it's been more than one thing, but because of being kicked out at 18 and just doing what I had to do to survive, it became like really clear to me. Yeah.

What I needed in my life and what I don't need in my life. And I've had a lot of courageous conversations with them and I've. Been doing the healing work with therapy and Reiki and all the things to really release all of it. And so when I expressed to her, you know, I'm going to therapy because of this, as this, and then like my biological mom, that's a whole nother thing.

But when I expressed it to her, you know, she was a little bit like, [00:21:00] like, why aren't you over that? You know, like, especially with about like kicking me out, they were like, she's like, why are you still hung up on that? And so it's kind of one of those things where then you just have to look at yourself and be like, like, are you happy?

And I'm happy. Like, I'm so happy. I'm happy with the life that I have. I'm happy with the experiences that I've been through. And if. My happiness means that certain people don't get access to my life all the time. Then I'd rather disappoint them than disappoint myself. 

Leah McIntosh: Yeah. And that makes so much sense.

It's just basically having the boundaries and respecting yourself enough to know everyone can not have access to me. For my own mental health for my own healing, you know, I have to just [00:22:00] disengage and I know I've been that way for a long time. And my mom's struggles with that with me, not allowing, you know, in her mind, if it's family, they have first dibs and I'm like, no, that's not how it goes.

If, if you show me who you are, once I believe it. And that's it. That's all I need is one time and you know, the inner child work. I really still want to talk about that because what does that exactly entail? Like for you, when you're doing the inner child work, do you have a specific modality that you use or therapy or what.

Chanee Momoko: Yeah, I think step one is just acknowledging that you have an inner child, that there is an inner child within you who, when you there's an inner child within you, that [00:23:00] perhaps has unmet needs, needs that didn't get met. And when your needs aren't met, what can happen is that we externalize those needs and we try and get it from other people.

So that was like, where, like I externalized my worthiness and I tried to get it from my achievements and people pleasing. And let me tell you every single boyfriend guess who's their moms loved me the most, like I could get moms to love me instantly. If I, you know, went to my friend's house, I could get your parents to love me instantly.

And so, you know, that became sort of like. Like my defense mechanism. Like, I don't want people to not like me. I don't want people to not accept me. So let me be like the, the best thing you've ever met in your life. And so, yeah. That is the, the, the inner child. That's the wounded inner child acting out because she doesn't not want to feel accepted and loved.

And so one is just acknowledging [00:24:00] that we have an inner child and then two, what it came down to was every single time I was wanting to people please, or be perfect. I had to look within and say, what needs are not being met, that I need to meet myself. So it's the process of re-parenting. So, you know, if, if before I used extra no validation and say like my Instagram, if I was using my Instagram as a means to dictate my worthiness, then I would reparent myself.

I would like find myself doing something in that moment. And I would reframe shift, change my actions, change my behaviors. Journaling was an extremely therapeutic thing for me. And so I committed to journaling every single day and I have a whole flow. And in one of the sections of my flow is intention.

So stating your intention, like who do you want to be? And so for one of my intentions was like, I am loved and I am safe and I matter, and that's the [00:25:00] process of inner child healing of. Meeting those needs that were not met and committing that process to yourself. And then next time you want to be in victim mentality.

You want to blame someone or your mom or your dad for the way that you are bringing yourself back to cause and meeting the need yourself. And so that's a lot of what inner child healing is. And it's, it's kind of a lifestyle, to be honest with you. Yeah, anytime I just that feeling of unease or dis-ease creeps up into my body or it's mostly perfectionism.

Like when I find myself trying to over-perform or like try to be perfect, I look within and I'm like, okay, like, what's up? Why do I feel the need to, to over-perform and be perfect? What is going on in my internal world? My heart, my mind, my soul, my spirit, that needs acknowledgement. And I sit with that.

And I acknowledge my feelings and I feel my feelings and sometimes it's very uncomfortable [00:26:00] and a lot of times I don't want to do it. 

Leah McIntosh: Yeah. And we needed that. That's the hard part. 

Chanee Momoko: Yeah. And yeah, I just make space for it. And in doing so it's increased my capacity to be uncomfortable, which is an increase my capacity to sit outside of my comfort zone to take action because the limits of our success.

Are the limits of these beliefs that we have about ourselves in how much discomfort we're willing to feel. 

Leah McIntosh: And I completely agree with that. Just thinking about my journey from 2016 til now I'm a completely different person because I did, I did a lot of mirror work. Um, and that was it. You know, I'd be sitting there just bawling and my husband would.

Walk in and it's like, what is wrong with you? And it's like, just, I'm having a moment. It's personal development. Just leave me [00:27:00] alone, you know? But yeah. 

Chanee Momoko: Yeah. You know, I've had, yeah, I've had coaches like coaches who have really seen me for who I am. And I have to say my last coach, she was incredible. She would not validate me.

Like she would not validate me. And for the law, I actually worked for Taylor for two years. I tried to get her to like me. I did that defense mechanism thing where I try to woo her. She wouldn't have it. She would not give it to me. And that was probably one of those healing things of being put into a situation, being put into a container for growth, for healing and for growth, someone who was going to hold me to that, someone who wasn't going to enable me or validate me, or allow me to like, you know, revert back to my child self.

So I think coaching is an incredible resource. 

Leah McIntosh: I totally agree with that. I didn't even know what coaching was. Per se [00:28:00] until about 2016. And my, I call him, he was my mentor. He wasn't necessarily a coach, but he called me on my bullshit. And he said, until you get out of victim hood, you realize that it might be you, you're going to keep going down this path and you're not going to have the success that you want.

So. Get your shit together, you know, go do the healing that you need to get done. And it was a double-edged sword because he was telling me this, but then if I wasn't having the breakthroughs, like everybody else was in his group, then he kind of made you feel like there was something wrong with you. And so I kept internalizing that as well.

I'm not having the breakthroughs and maybe it's me. If there's something clearly wrong with me. And I really believed that it's just me. I'm not ever going to be able to have the [00:29:00] breakthroughs and do you know, these amazing things, all the rest of his students are doing. And, you know, I know a lot of people out there, a lot of listeners probably feel that way.

And I guess my next question, just to segue into that is what advice would you give someone who. Feels like they can't break through or that, you know, that they're always going to seek validation to be perfect or whatever it is that they may be struggling with because there's an array of different things.

Chanee Momoko: But I think for me, and for you, one of the things we're perfectionism, do more B plus work. Good class is probably someone else's like a plus plus plus plus plus, or like our, you know what I mean? Like just do more B plus work because like we can strive for [00:30:00] excellence and excellence used to be one of my values, but I actually had to switch it because it was coming from like more of a scar city mindset and I changed it to always be learning.

Right. So instead of always like striving to be the best version of yourself, it's like, I'm just a student I'm just here to learn. And one of my past lives, I was actually a philosophy student. There was a student at Play-Doh. So I was like, yes. Perfect. So always be learning. And then the B plus work is what changed my life.

If it's not B plus then it you're aligning perfectionism to like, get in your way and cloud your judgment. And to yeah. Just take away from it. And it's like, I don't know. That's just my mantra. I heard it on a podcast once and I was like, I'm going to use it. Just do more. 

Leah McIntosh: Yeah, 

Chanee Momoko: sure. I think we all need a shirt.

Leah McIntosh: Right. Cause when you said it, it just automatically like, Oh, I like it. You know, like that. Yeah. Because I know for me, I actually just [00:31:00] decided to go back to school and I graduated in December. I don't know why it's like, I, it was the perfectionism. I made a choice when I was 17 years old to, you know, go be a nurse.

I have no desire to be a nurse, but because that was a goal that I made and I didn't succeed in it. Shit. I felt like I had to finish it. And then like, I have my degree and I'm like, what's the point? Like, I don't want to do this. This is not really what I want to do, but it all through school. I chase perfection had to be a, had to be a, I wanted a specific GPA.

I want to do graduate with honors and, and I did. And then it's just like the university slap me down today because I got an email that said, you know, good job for graduating, but. Your ass, ain't walking the stage because we're doing virtual. I did [00:32:00] all that for nothing. And I'm like, okay, well, Oh, well, I guess that's the answer.

And then here you are saying strive for the B plus. And I'm like, I should've just did that because at the end of the day, I'm not going to walk, which is one of the reasons why I went back to school and then it wasn't a big deal that way.

Chanee Momoko: Yeah. And the, in that mantra, it's like, it's like not to say, like, don't like try your best. It's just that when you are someone who struggles with perfection. Yeah. Our, our best yeah. Is unrealistic. It's unattainable. And it's also, I think it's also a little bit, I'm going to use the word unhealthy, but it is it's unhealthy to our mental health because we're putting so much pressure on ourselves to be look or do a certain way when it doesn't matter.

Like it really doesn't matter. And so it's like, not that we don't want you to do your best. We do want you to do your best, but when [00:33:00] you struggle with perfectionism, B plus is, is a plus work. You just need to start seeing it like that because when you constantly, yeah, it's just a lot of times we're, you know, trying to achieve this level of perfection that just as unhealthy unattainable, And it creates more dis-ease in our body.

So it's like, it's not actually amplifying and adding to, and like making our life better. It's making our life harder 

Leah McIntosh: and I could not agree more. And I didn't realize, you know, until, like I said, I started my journey. I would wake up in the morning and just feel this heaviness and I could never really pinpoint it.

And. You know, I was like, what in the world? And I felt like I had this cosmic slap down at the end of 2017 because I had enabled or not even enabled I've [00:34:00] engaged in this journey of I have to be perfect. I have to be perfect. And I was hitting all these accolades in my business. I was hitting leaderboards.

I was, you know, getting all these shout outs from the company. Um, And getting featured. And then I got sick and I was sick for like a month or so. And because of that, I wasn't online and it just spiraled down. And I couldn't, by the time I started to feel better, I didn't want to be online anymore because I didn't want to show up because I didn't want to have to be a performer.

Because that's what I felt like I was doing. And I had to perform so that I look perfect and I had to do all these things. And I got to the point where I was like, you know, what, if I can't be authentically Leah, then I'm just not going to go. I'm [00:35:00] just not going to do it anymore. And I hope that more people get to that point that, you know, it's okay.

To not be perfect. A matter of fact, it's best to embrace the imperfections that you have because it's going to resonate with more people. 

Chanee Momoko: Yes. That's what I'm to tell you. Yeah. Your story actually reminded me of, you know, the last show that I did in 2017 and I gained, I gained a lot of weight very quickly afterwards, and I didn't want to show up online either.

And I hadn't been showing up online for. Years. I had created this persona of being the girl who competed at every show, the girl who was always lean, the girl who was perfect with her workouts and her macros. And like, this is my lifestyle. And I really like promoted this lifestyle. Right. And how to use in quotation marks.

[00:36:00] And then it was all gone. And. I hit rock bottom. And in that had happened before in 2013, after the first show, when I gained all that weight. And, but this time I had a reputation this time I was a coach. I was a pro people knew me. And so it felt like a huge, just like you said, cosmic slapped down of just like what is actually important to you, Shanae.

And then, so what helped me heal. And what you just so beautifully did here was vulnerability. I became vulnerable to my community about what I was struggling with. I talked about my eating disorders. I talked about working out with the sweater on and feeling so insecure in my body and feeling just terrible.

Like I just felt terrible and about the benching and about how I just, my self-love was totally gone. [00:37:00] And in sharing. Not only was I able to heal, but then the ripple effect that came from that was so incredible. It gave others permission to come forward about their eating disorder, like the binge eating about how they also put place so much of their worthiness in their body and how we get into this like addictive cycle of needing to do the next show to lose weight.

Because when you get into this unhealthy cycle of like, you can't even eat normal anymore. And you can't even exercise or you're so sick of exercising, you don't even want to work out. So it's this really, really, really, really negative cycle. And so, yeah, it just created that ripple effect for others to be able to heal.

I healed and my business like quadrupled itself in a 

Leah McIntosh: month. Yeah, isn't that crazy? 

Chanee Momoko: I was like, all of a sudden I had like 20 new clients and I, and I wasn't going to be accomplished in prep coach. After that, [00:38:00] you know, after that show, I was like, I'm done with this life. Like I'm done with this sport. But what happened was that women came to me who wanted to compete, but they didn't want to develop the eating disorder after.

And so then I, I was able to create a program that integrated life coaching. With competition prep so that they could do something like a show, get the personal and professional development that comes from really pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and committing to this goal, um, of, yeah, just real commitment and discipline, but without the after effects that I had gone through, but, you know, Of course, some people still did.

And so that's why I was like, you know, I gotta be in integrity and I can't like, we don't have to do a show to get the transformation. So that's why now I'm just a 

Leah McIntosh: life coach. Yeah. Well, but you still are in the transformation business, but just in a healthier sense. So 

Chanee Momoko: yeah, yeah, [00:39:00] yeah. So exactly what you said.

I hope that people are able to really see that and give themselves permission. Yeah, just give yourself permission to heal. Find a place where you can be vulnerable. Find someone who you can talk to about this because as Bernay brown says, vulnerability cannot like shame cannot exist in vulnerability.

And shame is really what's holding us back from releasing the perfection and really allowing ourselves to be who we truly are 

Leah McIntosh: very well said. So with that, I think we dropped some nuggets in this episode. Yeah. So where can people see more from 

Chanee Momoko: you? Yeah. So I also have a podcast, so you can come and listen to that.

It's called your highest self and we're on Spotify, apple in YouTube. And I think like most of your favorite podcasts players. So I hang out on there and then I also hang out on Instagram. You can call them and follow me there. And if you're into [00:40:00] healing, if healing is something you want to do, I have a healing collective it's called evolve and it's for coaches, entrepreneurs, and service providers who are on their ever evolving journey of self-growth.

So this is where you can come and start to implement these habits that we were talking about, like journaling, mirror, work, breath, work, meditation, inner child healing, and really just start to keep some promises to yourself, which is like the basis of inner child work. And. Promises that are regarding to like your own self care and your own self-growth.

So it's like healing always starts from within. And so that's what we focus on there is developing the habits that are the foundation of your like healing and self-growth journey. 

Leah McIntosh: Awesome. Awesome. So I want to just thank you for taking the time out to come and be on my podcast. And I hope that you'll come back.

We can talk about something else here soon because I [00:41:00] definitely enjoyed Ave as a guest. 

Chanee Momoko: Thank you so much. You're an incredible interviewer. This was really a treat and yeah, I'm really grateful. Thank you, Leah. 

Leah McIntosh: Thank you. Thanks for listening to another episode of it might be you. I release new episodes on Thursdays and make sure to follow me on Instagram and superior thinker that you can keep up with all things Leah in the podcast.

Thanks for.